She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
