I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
