can u get pink eye on your cock?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
