grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
