i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
PANTIES FOUND
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