She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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