the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
