Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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