Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
