If i come over, it means nothing
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
