ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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