Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
