My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
