Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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