ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
