He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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