How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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