My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
