it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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