hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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