He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
