just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
