He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
