Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
