i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize