What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
