Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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