I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
