WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
