@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
