let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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