you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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