Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
