How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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