All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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