I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He better not be in your backpack
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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