It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
