he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
