how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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