I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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