I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
