Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
