i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
