Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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