How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
