I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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