well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
