I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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