i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
