I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
