She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
