We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
