Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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