Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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