i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
