help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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