Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
