I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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