I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
