Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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