All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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