Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize