I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
