My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
