it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
