dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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