it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize