i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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