Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
