I heard we made out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
