I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize