from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
