I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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