ya dads aren't the best wingmen
its not stalking. its research.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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