You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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